I want to have your abortion
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
