Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
