I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
