I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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