She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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