i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
