his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You are the jesus of drinking
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
