I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
