Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
