Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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