Nicole vs. Life
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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