I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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