This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
