i think my tv is drunk
Please, let me fuck your mom
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
