She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
