You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
