this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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