I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
