where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
