you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
