Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
