If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
