Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
