I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
