CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
