At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
