there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You dont lie about slip and slides
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
