When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
