Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
