My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
