definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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