First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
