Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
