Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
