you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
