We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
