They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
