Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
