So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
