I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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