i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
