it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there's paper in my vomit.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
