During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
