he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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