We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
