So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
