New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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