I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
