k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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