Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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