Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
