one two three fourrrrnication!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
